bring on the warmth, batman!

I am so super excited for this weekend. Why you ask? Because I'm going here....

 

Yup, that's right. I'm going to a WATER PARK! I'm going with my family for the weekend and am so ready to get away from here and in the water for the weekend. 

87 degree air temp, 84 degree water temp. It can't get much better then that. Jealous?   

bad dreams...

Have you ever had one of those nights where you are getting ready for bed, doing your devotions and in that devotion, you read something that really strikes a chord with you...for the good. It reminds you of how lucky you are to be where you are today, and to always trust that God is doing good things for you according to his plan. According to His plan...is the key. Yes, I might not always feel like things are going my way...but I need to realize more often then not that maybe this is the way God has it planned out for my life. And it will be good for me in the end, even if I don't see it going that way now.

So, I felt really good before going to bed. I prayed to God that he would show me how to be content with where I'm at in life and to trust Him 100% that the way my life is going, is according to His plan. And then I fell into a deep slumber...

In that deep slumber, I started having dreams. Dreams that were so real to me that I felt like I was actually living them. Dreams that stirred up emotions of my past and made me wonder why I was having dreams like this.

& then I woke up...hurting, upset, wondering why I had such a good devotion and talk with God the night before and then during the night in my dreams, it stirred up things that I thought I had tucked away. For good. Is this something God is trying to tell me? Is there something that I need to do? What can I do to make this pain/hurt go away for good and not be stirred up every time that I seem to have settled things?

Stressful, with a capital S...

Ok...so here is the beginning of the tangled up web of thoughts in this brain-'o-mine. If you really don't care what is going on in this crazy life of mine, then don't read on. However, if you would like to offer any input, thoughts, or even just to tell me I'm crazy, I'm game for anything.  :)

Work has been SUPER stressful. I love my job and everything, I just don't like the feeling of going to bed at night DREADING the next day of work. It's THAT bad. I know, I know...I need to be so thankful that I even have a job. & I really am. I just am ready for the stress to settle down and for things to get back to normal. Is that too much to ask for??

Friendships have also been stressful. Who would have ever thought that a friendship would wear and tear on your emotions as much as they do. One minute you think you are on top of the world with the most amazing friends ever, and the next you are questioning what is really going on. What have I gotten myself into? & what is really worth pursuing to make me a better person...a better person in God's eyes. I hope things get better...I really really do...

Then my living situation. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE living here at my apartment. Yes, it has it's ups & downs. From the singing chinese dude on the 3rd floor, to the 3 year old running around at 6:30am on a SATURDAY morning...oh the joys. But...it was my first home away from home. This place was my first leap of faith...the first time I took a step out on my own and learned to live all.by.myself. Yes, very scary at first...but I've grown SO much in the past 3 years. I've become such an independent person and know that I can now do anything on my own if I put my mind to it. This has been the place that I have learned who I really am. What I like, what I hate, and what I just enjoy or don't enjoy doing. It's been the time of my life...

however, the time of my life requires leaps and bounds so that I can continue growing and learning. & it has to be a huge leap of faith for me. because I'm comfortable here...however, my funds are not comfortable here. There is so much to decide on whether I can continue to keep living my life here...or to move on and start the next stage in my life. Somewhere that is cheaper, and allows me to save so that I can one day soon have a house of my own...a place to call my own again. My freedom back.

So...I pray. I pray like crazy. Because I don't want to make any wrong decisions. I want to do what God has planned out for me and my life...and if that means giving up my comfort...then I need to give up my comfort and explore new winding roads. I pray that God leads me in the right direction...and I pray that I learn to be okay with it. I pray that I can trust God to the fullest, that He knows what he is doing with my life, and that He would never point me in the wrong direction.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

decisions, decisions, decisions

Over the next couple months I have a lot of decisions I need to make. I HATE making decisions and wish that someone would just make all the decisions for me in my life.  :) It would be such an easier world for me if I never had to make a decision and just always went with the flow. BUT...if I want things to improve, things to work out, and even growing into a stronger person, there are always decisions that are going to need to be made. blech.

So, over the next couple months you may see me blogging about different things that I need to make decisions on. Some with questions that I may need help with...and some blogs just as a venting for me so I can get all my thoughts out on paper the computer.  :)

On a high note, the sun came out today!!!! And it's even decently warm out! This is so not good, because it makes me want summer to be here SO super bad! Only about 2 more months, right?? Le sigh...

Sorry for the random post...but here is a picture for you to enjoy of me and my siblings...i love them...

dear starbucks...

Oh, how I miss you so much. You were my favorite thing in the world and I would stop by at least five three days a week to indulge in your caramel and white chocolate goodness. And every time I see this...

...I just can't imagine what I'd do without you. BUT...you are too expensive for me. This is a love/hate relationship and I just can't afford you anymore. So, I am going to have to settle for this...

I hope some day you realize how important our relationship was...and I hope you can take into consideration how much I miss you. Will you please, please, please lower your prices so that I may enjoy all of your goodness again??

Sincerely,

Lizzie

dear winter...

...can you just please, please, PLEASE go away??? I'm tired of your gloominess. :(

I have summer on my mind like crazy! I can't seem to stop thinking about not having to wear a coat anymore, being able to lounge out on my deck, wearing flip flops and just soaking in the sun and warmth. I've been daydreaming working hard at my job lately, and I just can't seem to get it out of my mind.  :)

I long for the day when I can go outside for leasurely strolls, drive with my windows down and radio blaring, and just enjoying the goodness that summer brings. Even the smells that summer brings are so gratifying. Grilling out, campfires, the smell of rain...le sigh.

Old Man Winter...will you please go away?

ready now

This has been a song that has been on my heart for the past couple weeks. It's amazing how the words speak right through me. I've never felt God so close to me then when I listen and sing this song. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do.

Ready Now (The Desperation Band)

You come like you promised you would
I want to surrender for good
I know that I need you
And I dont want to keep living life alone.

So take my heart
and make it new
make it true
And make it like you
Take my hands
I lift them high
They’re yours not mine to do
Do what you will

I feel like a blind man in your sight
I know that I'm wicked in your eyes
So wash me and make me shine like the sun
I want to tell everyone
that you're the only one

So take my heart
And make it new
Make it true
And make it like you
Take my hands
I lift them high
They’re yours not mine to do
Do what you will

I'm ready now
I'm ready now
I'm ready now
Do what you will

me & my buddy

mountains & valleys...

Have you ever had times in your life where one minute you have felt like you are on top of a mountain and you feel like you can conquer anything you have ever dreamed of, and then the next minute, you are picking yourself up off the ground in the valley and learn you have to start climbing again?

I've had multiple experiences with these feelings in the last couple weeks and I'm not quite sure what to think of them. I LOVE the feeling of when I feel like I can conquer the world and accomplish everything that my heart desires. Things that give me this feeling are the sunshine on my face even when it is bitterly cold out, a good song on the radio that lifts my spirits, laughing so hard that I can't help but cry, having that feeling of God overcome me when I least expect it and knowing that I have family & friends that care for me more then anything...even when I have so many faults that I can't fathom why they stick around.

Then the next minute...you have fallen off that mountain...rock...hard...to the bottom of that valley and all you feel like doing is laying there and never wanting to get back up. You lay there and think of everything that is going wrong and has gone wrong...and you can't fathom the thought of that climb back to the top again.

BUT...you do. You find the strength somewhere so deep inside, that it just starts as a thought in your head that you can't lay there forever. & eventually it works its way through your heart and fills you with a strength not known to you...& shows you that you can do it...you can pick yourself up off the ground and start climbing again...knowing that feeling at the very top will overcome any fear that you have along the way.

As you climb, you may hit rough patches, where you slip & fall...but you keep going...& going...& going...& as you go, God is speaking to you the whole way encouraging you to keep pressing on to the top...that at the top is where you will find your joy.

No matter how hard it gets, I will keep pressing forward to reach the top...& if it takes me years to get there, I can never say that I didn't try.

some of my favorite things...

{my faith}

{my siblings}

{my parents}

{my nephew}

{my friends}

{milo}

{pentwater}

{vacation}

i don't understand...

I promise you, I won't have many blog posts like this. But, this was something that is just on my heart, and I needed to vent. So, I decided to do so through my blog. So bear with me...

I think I've misunderstood this thing called life lately. I don't get why people act the way they do, I don't get why people treat others the way they do, and I don't get why it hurts so bad. I've been struggling so much lately with who people are, and how they treat others as well as myself. Maybe I was mistaken from the beginning that this life is a fight all, win all kind of world and that I have to fight my way through this crap to "get to the top." But, I'm not thinking that is the way things work.

I already struggle with having trust in people, just from the multiple times of being hurt in the past by people whom I've had trust in. I've been trying to push that issue of mine aside and work to have trust in every one of my friends...but that has shown me to backfire in my face again.

What needs to happen for good things to happen to good people? And for me to be able to go through life having trust in the people I need to?

I guess I just don't understand....

brayden michael

On September 22, 2008, Brayden Michael entered into our world. He was a strong little boy who was long awaited by many close family and friends...and especially by his momma & daddy. No one knew how special this little boy would be in our lives. As he gets older each day, his personality grows with him. He is a joy in so many peoples lives.

Being his Aunt, I never knew the power this little boy would have on my life. He brings about a happiness in me that words could not describe. He is an angel in my life that God sent down to show me how precious life really is, and how important my family is to me. Brayden has taught me more in his short little life then I have learned in a long time.

I hope that I can be the Aunt that Brayden needs. I hope that I can be the person for him that shows him how amazing life is. That shows him that playing in mud is ok, and that chasing after bugs is a boy thing. I hope he learns that the summer sun is something to soak in because it only lasts for a short time, that cool winter nights are perfect for staying in and sitting by the fire with momma & daddy.

I can't wait to watch you continue to grow, and stay that fun little guy that you are. You bring a light to my life and I look forward to just living life with you. And showing you how cool it is to be a part of your family.

As I close, I just want to thank you Brayden Michael...for just being you. Because you have been a joy to my life. I could never express in words how thankful I am for you.

I love you little guy!!

Holy Batman!

...I leave for India in less then 2 months!

So..I probably should start from the beginning. Fill all readers in as to what India is all about.

About 5 months ago, my church began talking about the next India mission trip. It was scheduled for March and they were informing people of the church all about what they do in India, and looking to see if anyone was interested in going. I have always been interested in starting back up with missions trips, but this one seemed to far out of my reach.

First of all, it was $3,000 per person for us to be able to go. Support that we would have to raise ourselves and figure out ways to raise it. And second of all, it was a long trip and I just wasn't sure if I could afford to be away from work for that long.

I started praying like crazy...asking God what I needed to do and if this was a missions trip that I was supposed to go on. I knew that if this was something that He wanted me to do...He would let me know.

About a month later, my friend Sarah asked me if I was thinking about India and really felt that I should go. She was going to be a team leader for this trip and knew how much that I loved going on missions trips...and felt like this would be the perfect opportunity for me to go. I told her that I had been praying about it, but still wasn't 100% sure if this is something that God wanted me to do at this time in my life.

One night when I was sitting in church, one of the pastors spoke about living for God. He said that there is no reason for us to wait on living for him...God wants us to live for him now. That struck me to my core. It showed me that God was telling me that I needed to get out of my comfort zone and go live for Him.

So, I decided right then and there, that I needed to go to India. I spoke with Sarah and she got me connected with the right people. I kept praying and praying knowing that I had a lot of work to do before the trip came, and so I asked for not only strength to get through these next couple months, but also support to be able raise the funds to make this trip possible.

Currently...I am super pumped to be a part of this amazing missions team. We head to India on March 5th and we are there for 10 days! I'm so excited to see what God has in store for me while I'm there...yet at the same time very nervous as to what I will experience when I'm over there. I know that God has amazing plans for me, and this is just another step that I can take to help show God's love around the world.

Current to date, I have raised $2,235 for my trip. I'm almost there! And I'm hoping that as the next two months roll by, I will continue raising more support.

I appreciate everyone who has helped me raise support for this and I ask for prayers as I continue on this journey.

So, that pretty much sums up India. I will continue to update as the months roll on and also update when I get back about my experience! I'm so super excited and can't wait to share with you all what God has in store for me in the near future!!

Mucho Sicko...

Yup...you heard right. I'm sick. :( I think I have been far too excited to not have been sick yet this winter. I've been very blessed with a healthy body...which is so not like me. :) But, I caught the achy, sore throat, just feel crappy STUFF. It's not fun.

So, instead of keeping up with the crazy crazy life I lead...I may be saying hello to Nyquil, my jammies, and my nice warm bed for now.

Let's hope this nasty thing doesn't stay around for long...it is for sure not welcome!

And so it begins..

So...I decided to jump on the bandwagon and explore this exciting new world of blogging! I've debated over this for many months if I wanted to fall into the deep hole of blog world...but the more I thought about it...the more it sounded like fun. This could be a place for me to share all my random thoughts and crazy moments in my life. And also to just share what is on this crazy mind of mine.

Yes...crazy I am...so, bear (bare?)...hmm...with me as I learn how this scary thing works...and get all this tangled up mess of thoughts in my brain in order so that I may start sharing some exciting things. :)

Hold onto your hats...because this could be an exciting, yet bumpy ride! Story of my life...*le sigh*

So, sit back, relax and enjoy this crazy thing called "Lizzie's Life."