Stressful, with a capital S...

Ok...so here is the beginning of the tangled up web of thoughts in this brain-'o-mine. If you really don't care what is going on in this crazy life of mine, then don't read on. However, if you would like to offer any input, thoughts, or even just to tell me I'm crazy, I'm game for anything.  :)

Work has been SUPER stressful. I love my job and everything, I just don't like the feeling of going to bed at night DREADING the next day of work. It's THAT bad. I know, I know...I need to be so thankful that I even have a job. & I really am. I just am ready for the stress to settle down and for things to get back to normal. Is that too much to ask for??

Friendships have also been stressful. Who would have ever thought that a friendship would wear and tear on your emotions as much as they do. One minute you think you are on top of the world with the most amazing friends ever, and the next you are questioning what is really going on. What have I gotten myself into? & what is really worth pursuing to make me a better person...a better person in God's eyes. I hope things get better...I really really do...

Then my living situation. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE living here at my apartment. Yes, it has it's ups & downs. From the singing chinese dude on the 3rd floor, to the 3 year old running around at 6:30am on a SATURDAY morning...oh the joys. But...it was my first home away from home. This place was my first leap of faith...the first time I took a step out on my own and learned to live all.by.myself. Yes, very scary at first...but I've grown SO much in the past 3 years. I've become such an independent person and know that I can now do anything on my own if I put my mind to it. This has been the place that I have learned who I really am. What I like, what I hate, and what I just enjoy or don't enjoy doing. It's been the time of my life...

however, the time of my life requires leaps and bounds so that I can continue growing and learning. & it has to be a huge leap of faith for me. because I'm comfortable here...however, my funds are not comfortable here. There is so much to decide on whether I can continue to keep living my life here...or to move on and start the next stage in my life. Somewhere that is cheaper, and allows me to save so that I can one day soon have a house of my own...a place to call my own again. My freedom back.

So...I pray. I pray like crazy. Because I don't want to make any wrong decisions. I want to do what God has planned out for me and my life...and if that means giving up my comfort...then I need to give up my comfort and explore new winding roads. I pray that God leads me in the right direction...and I pray that I learn to be okay with it. I pray that I can trust God to the fullest, that He knows what he is doing with my life, and that He would never point me in the wrong direction.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11